Practice Makes Perfect
by Cold Fire Phoenix
Summary: Naruto cons Kiba into helping him practice some very important skills in a shinobi's personal life. Only, how accurate can two straight boys be in learning the proper way of feeling a girl up while practicing on each other? -- Naruto x Kiba


"I gotta tell you man... I feel awfully gay right now."

Naruto frowned. "Don't say that! We're just practicing!"

Kiba squirmed, red in the face. "Yeah, but... I still feel gay."

"I do too, but that just means it isn't gay."

Kiba failed to follow the logic. "But - if it feels gay to you, and it feels gay to me -"

"Then it can't possibly be gay. Gay people wouldn't _feel_ gay." Naruto looked entirely convinced. Kiba didn't.

Akamaru rolled his eyes, but neither shinobi noticed.

Naruto cradled Kiba's hand in his. "Just don't move this time! Remember, you're Sakura."

"Right." The Inuzuka adjusted his makeshift apple-breasts, fighting the urge to scratch at the back of the "borrowed" bra yet again. How the hell did women manage with these things? They were annoying, and constraining!

Kiba wasn't paying attention, so when Naruto leaned in close his first reaction was stunned incomprehension, then a strangled yelp as he dove backward, away from the blonde. Naruto frowned and pointed an accusing finger at Kiba. "Hey! I said don't move! How am I ever going to learn to kiss Sakura-chan if I don't practice somewhere else first?"

Naruto had an unreasonable (or possibly entirely reasonable) fear that if he ever did get the chance to swap spit with Sakura, his lack of experience would be enough of a deterrent for a repeat of the experience. Naruto liked to pretend he could plan ahead.

"Look! I'm sorry! I just don't get why I have to wear this damn bra," he adjusted it, leveling out his apples to erase the lop-sided effect they had taken on during his mad rush to escape Naruto's puckered lips, "Or how you conned me into this." Kiba fell silent. He knew why.

And he also knew whoever invented the concept of blackmail deserved to die a long, excruciatingly painful death.

Naruto pouted, gesturing for Kiba to come sit down next to him. He looked ridiculous himself, orange and black jacket tossed carelessly on the ground, his black shirt rumpled and slightly too large for his wiry frame. His blue eyes were pleading with Kiba.

The other youth sighed. "Fine. Whatever. Just don't suddenly-" 

Naruto had already taken the initiative, and awkwardly snaked one arm around Kiba's waist and planted a sloppy kiss on his lips. Kiba looked affronted, and Naruto petulant as the blonde changed tactics. Kiba could feel as Naruto's lips when from alien, unwelcome, wet flesh to warm, inquisitive guests.

Which disturbed him, even as he felt Naruto experimentally pull on Kiba's lip with his teeth. While both boys had their eyes slammed firmly shut, it was hard to imagine anyone other than Naruto was kissing him now (his nose could not be shut off like his vision, and the other boy's scent was unmistakable) and even harder to comprehend why, past initial disgust, Kiba found himself... welcoming it?

Even the feeling of Naruto's free hand snaking under his shirt and roughly moving up his side to fondle his very-fake apple-breast didn't make Kiba cringe - mostly because he wasn't paying attention until Naruto, fumblingly pushed aside the apple and ran the pad of his thumb over Kiba's very-real nipple.

Erogenous zones were tricky things, but also very pleasurable ones. Kiba's choked gasp of surprise gave Naruto an opening, and the enthusiastic blonde took the chance to tentatively explore Kiba's mouth with his tongue.

Kiba bit down in reflex, catching the invading appendage hard enough to draw blood, and causing Naruto's eyes to fly open in pain. Kiba opened his eyes in suit, shocked over his response - in more ways than one. He let go as Naruto pulled back, eyes a bit watery from the unexpected pain, but otherwise largely unharmed. Neither boy said a word - Naruto because he was nursing his tongue, Kiba because... he didn't know what _to_ say.

Their silence stretched out. Kiba stared at Naruto, who silently stared back before finally removing his hand from underneath Kiba's shirt. Naruto held one of the apples in his palm, the other pressing still into Kiba's flesh.

"This," they said in near unison, Naruto's words a bit slurred, "Is totally not gay." Except neither boy could look the other in the eye, not even as Naruto stood and made for the door, tossing a hurried, "I'm shlate to meeting Shakura-chan," over his shoulder. Kiba didn't bother to reply. He sat still for a moment before pulling his shirt off and liberating himself of his bra.

Akamaru whined from where he lay on the ground, his tail thumping softly in agitation. Kiba seemed to shake off whatever was weighing him down. He smiled, looking more like his normal self. "Akamaru, let's go." The large canine heaved himself to his feet, more than willing to comply.

Half the village away, Naruto made apologies to a sighing Sakura. She was simply curious where Naruto had gotten the apple clutched so tightly in his hand. "Good," she'd said finally, when he'd given her some strange incoherent answer, "You needed a bit more fruit in your diet anyway."


End file.
